Chat Room for the Chattering Class, by Bruce Kluger and David Slavin--The Los Angeles Times

brucekluger.com

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os Angeles Times

May 2, 2005

ommentary

Chat Room for the Chattering Class

y Bruce Kluger

and David Slavin

Welcome to Huffingtonpost.com! Please join us at 9 p.m. tonight when we take our

blog live

, in

a first-ever HuffingtonPost chat! With us online will b

e regular

contribut

ors Walter Cronkite, David Mamet, Larry David, Warren Beatty, Diane

Keaton, Norman Mailer, Sen. Gary Hart, David Geffen....

AriannaHuff:

... So, like I was saying, how can we trust a president whose greatest

achievement is making Al Gore and John Kerry actually look appealing? I mean,

have things gotten this bad?

WalterCronkite:

Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? What does the "Esc" key do?

And

what's the difference between "Reply" and "Reply All"?

AriannaHuff:

We need to take action. This president is dangerous! Anyone agree?

TheMailerMan:

As he sat waiting for an idea to emerge, Ted thought of all those

suckers in cyberspace eagerly anticipating his words, like puppies clamoring for the

teat of their bitch mother....

DianeK:

But you have to admit, Arianna, that he's sexy in a way. OK, dumb-cowboy

sexy. But at our age, we can't be choosy, right?

LarryYadaYada:

Why do they call this thing a "mouse," anyway? Because it's

small? Because it has a tail? Lots of things are small and have a tai

—

rats, ferrets,

my cousin Seymour. Maybe they should call this thing a "Seymour"....

AriannaHuff:

Speak for yourself, Diane. I'm still in my 40s.

DianeK:

LOL! And I'm still dating Woody!

LarryYadaYada:

Then again, maybe Seymour's not such a hot name, either.

"Hey,

my Seymour just broke!"

“What kind of Seymour should I get?”

See, it doesn’t work.

WalterCronkite:

Can anybody read this?

WalterCronkite:

Can anybody read this?

WarrenBaby:

Hey, everybody. Here to talk. Hi, Diane. What are you wearing?

#%&Mamet!!:

So this is it? This is a blog? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding

me? You are kidding me. Big friggin' deal.

DianeK:

Grow up, Warren. ;)

WalterCronkite:

I think I may have sent that twice.

WalterCronkite:

I think I may have sent that twice.

TheMailerMan:

Ted hated them. Hated them for their weakness, their conformity,

their pathetic neediness....

LarryYadaYada:

And what's the deal with spam? Why call it "spam"? If actual lunch

meat started coming out of my computer, I'd think I'd kind of like that.

#%&Mamet!!

I get it, sure. It’s a blog.

A blogggggg.

That means I’m supposed

and whine like some big, blubbering 200-pound baby. Asking for justice, asking

for

explanations! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? A

child

could do this.

Sen.MonkeyBiz:

Hello, group. Is Warren here yet?

WarrenBaby:

Right here, Gary.

$Geff$:

Hi, all. Sorry I can't join u tonite. Scouting locations in Fiji for

Jurassic 4

Waves and cabana boys galore

—

yowza!

[

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-

Mobile.]

Sen.MonkeyBiz:

Anybody good yet, Warren?

LarryYadaYada:

I mean, if you're going to come up with a name for something you

don't want, don't call it "spam." Call it something you wouldn't want. Like "vomit."

WarrenBaby:

Just Diane, Gary.

AriannaHuff:

Doesn't anybody want to talk about politics?

WarrenBab

I do! Let’s talk Ann Coulter. I know, we’re supposed to hate her.

But

there’s something about her. I think she and I could really…

connect

Sen.MonkeyBi

Know exactly what you mean, Warren.

#%&Mamet!!:

What a bunch of whiners. Big baby whiners. You're all a bunch of

—

[BLOGMEMBER "#%&Mamet!!" terminated by system operator for use of profanity.]

WalterCronkite:

Uh, I just pushed a button and now I'm someplace called "Naughty

Nurses.com." What am

I supposed to do?

TheMailerMan:

He imagined their heads split open, the blood gushing forth. But

Ted saw nothing. A black void. A cold, hard, deadness...

WarrenBaby:

Click "Gallery," Walter. You can use my password: "Shampoo75."

AriannaHuff:

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea....