brucekluger.com

    USA Today, January 25, 2012

    Bullying in America: Are we defenseless?
    Teen suicides are unacceptable. We must find a way to save the children.

    By Bruce Kluger


    Although I have lived in New York City for 32 years,
    I have never been to Staten Island. It has been
    said, however, that this southernmost of New York’s
    five boroughs is also its most neighborly. With tree-
    lined streets and a vibrant mix of white- and blue-
    collar families, it is even, some say, evocative of
    Middle America.

    Tragically, last month Staten Island took a giant
    step closer to becoming like the rest of the nation.
    On December 27, a 15-year-old high school
    sophomore named Amanda Cummings walked onto
    the main boulevard in her neighborhood and,
    according to witnesses, threw herself into the path
    of an onrushing bus. She died from her injuries six
    days later. Police say that at the time of the accident, she was carrying a suicide
    note in her pocket.

    Amanda’s back-story is all too familiar: She’d been bullied relentlessly at her
    school, mostly by other girls. She’d suffered a failed romance that had brought her
    into conflict with a female classmate. She’d reportedly sunken into a fog of drugs
    and alcohol. And most sickeningly, even as she lay dying in the hospital, the
    bullying continued on her Facebook page.

    To make matters worse, police investigators have yet to rule the suicide a result of
    bullying, citing lack of evidence. Family members say this is because Amanda did
    not want to inflame her anguish by forcing a public confrontation. The investigation
    is still open.

    That this wrenchingly painful story is now considered a textbook example of today’s
    teen suicide scenarios speaks both to the depth of the crisis and our failed efforts
    to curb it.

    This is a problem without a solution.

    According to the Children’s Defense Fund, one child or teen in America commits
    suicide every five hours. Additionally, says the Centers for Disease Control and
    Prevention, for every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 attempts.
    And a study by Yale University reveals that victims of bullying are two to nine times
    more likely to consider suicide than non-victims.

    I first read about Amanda’s death just minutes before my two girls barreled in the
    front door from school. Bridgette, 16, looked at me and asked why I had tears in my
    eyes. I showed her the story, and as she read it, she grew enraged.

    “It’s not going to get better!” she bellowed, paraphrasing the name of the popular
    national organization that wages war on bullying. “Not unless somebody does
    something. At this point, Lady Gaga is the only one who is making a difference.”

    I instantly understood what Bridgette meant. Unlike the It Gets Better and Trevor
    Projects—both landmark and admirable organizations—Lady Gaga has stealthily
    used her pop star prowess and signature otherness to get into the heads of youths.
    Even the title of her anti-bullying foundation, Born This Way (taken from the title of
    her hit song), sends a potent and uplifting message to kids, signifying that it’s okay
    to feel different.

    And yet, even as Lady Gaga continues these noble efforts, we continue to lose
    children. This is why Amanda’s mother felt compelled, even at the depths of her
    grieving, to speak out on national television, urging parents everywhere to monitor
    their kids’ lives more closely.

    “If (the bullies) are doing this to one person,” she warned, “they’re doing it to
    others.”

    This is a problem without a solution.

    The more I thought about the story from Staten Island, the more I began to channel
    Bridgette’s fury. In recent months, I, like many Americans, have been absorbed in
    the presidential debates, listening carefully to see if any of the candidates were
    addressing issues that spoke to my family, my kids, my life. And now I wonder: Who
    is leading the charge against the deadly epidemic of teen bullying—a scourge that
    continues to lurk in the playgrounds and hallways of all of our kids' lives? Who is
    speaking out on the issue with the same urgency we routinely give to teen
    pregnancy, or childhood obesity, or even standardized testing?

    Granted, our system of political debate can’t possibly accommodate every issue
    facing our nation; and yet how many more deaths must we witness before bullying
    is elevated to the level of national emergency? How many more broken hearts must
    parents and families endure?

    Last fall, I participated in an online campaign against bullying that was launched by
    my friend, Marlo Thomas, on her Huffington Post blog. At one point, Marlo and I
    conducted a telephone interview with a New Yorker named Kevin Jacobsen, who
    had lost his 14-year-old son, Kameron, to a bullying-related suicide. Marlo asked
    most of the questions as I listened in—like any father would—aching.

    “Bullying is not the same old issue it used to be,” Kevin cautioned. “With social
    networking and computers and cellphones, it’s become an around-the-clock
    problem. It’s now a health issue.”

    Not long before the interview, Kevin had created an anti-bullying website in memory
    of his son. He called it Kindness Above Malice, and vowed to devote the rest of his
    life to ensuring that no parent experience the same crushing loss he and his wife
    had suffered.

    Then came last week’s shocking e-mail: On January 7, as the one-year anniversary
    of Kameron’s death approached, Kevin took his own life. He has now joined his son.
    And Amanda. And far, far too many children in this country.

    This is a column without a solution. Does anybody have one?


    (Collage by Audrey Kluger, age 12)