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NickJr.com, February 2000 In the Trenches With Bruce Kluger Bridgette & Bill By Bruce Kluger Teach your children well Their father's hell did slowly go by. And feed them on your dreams The one they pick's the one you'll know by. —Graham Nash, 1970 Last night, I was working at the computer while listening to the background clatter of talking heads on TV, a gaggle of analysts swapping predictions about Election 2000, and wondering if a new President can lead the nation’s children down the path of righteousness. Suddenly one of the pundits, a member of the religious right, began bemoaning the state of the nation’s morality. Specifically, he was picking on everyone’s favorite kick-child: television. “And I’ll tell you what,” the zealot announced, his face red and his finger wagging. “Back when the White House was engulfed in that sex scandal, I was so appalled by what I heard on the TV every night, that I had to send my children out of the living room. That’s when I decided never to let them watch the evening news again.” I suppose this bit of pious posturing on was intended to give me pause, make me think about the nation’s decaying morality and how I, as a father, was required to protect my children from the devil’s grasp by following the good man’s example and unplugging our TV for good. But that’s not what I thought. Instead, the only thing that came into my head as Reverend Do-Right rambled on was, “Gee, what unimaginative parenting.” It’s strange, but these days it seems the more sophisticated mass communication gets, the more we hear about how our children need to be shielded from the world that’s swirling around them. One minister tells us Brokaw is banished from his home for good; another expert confesses she’s switched her kids to home study to assure that they’re not exposed to worrisome role models like Tom Sawyer and Anne Frank; still another tells us a Teletubbie is deviant. What a waste of time. As well meaning as all of these efforts are, isn’t it easier to walk our children through the minefield of the modern world, rather than lock them away from it? So what if things occasionally get messy? Life is messy. Deal with it. Don’t get me wrong. As far as I’m concerned the good Reverend can replace his Sony Trinitron with a Waring blender and spend the news hour reading Louisa May Alcott to his brood—that’s his business. But the real point is, regardless of their cable or Internet access, children will always find out what’s going on in the world— somehow—and I’m convinced it’s better to provide them with specific answers to their specific questions, however simplified or bleached or abridged, than keep them wondering. After all, a child left scratching his head is an opportunity missed. As it turns out, back in ’98 I had a relatively easy time explaining the White House fiasco to my then three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Bridgette. The story had broken not long after she had begun watching the home video of Pinocchio; consequently, when Bridgey noticed a photograph of an obviously perturbed President on the front page of our morning paper, we were able to discuss the whole matter in less than twenty seconds: Me: Look, the President’s sad. Bridgette: Why? Me: He’s in trouble. Bridgette: Why? Me: He told a lie. Bridgette: Like Pinocchio? Me: Yes. Bridgette: Is he going to get punished? Me: As a matter of fact, yes, he is. Bridgette: Oh. [Pause] Can I have a Chiclet? That was it. No muss, no fuss, no cigar, no blue Gap dress. Lucky for me, this morality lesson—in the form of a puppet-boy and a do-gooder cricket—was all she needed to understand the Chief Executive’s woes. In fact, she was so satisfied with our exchange about Clinton’s predicament that she didn’t even ask why his nose didn’t grow. That, she understands, is make-pretend. But as we all know, the real lesson here doesn’t begin and end at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Children are confronted everyday with complex, grown-up issues that go beyond perjury, marital infidelity and partisan politics. And as parents, we can choose either to shelve the discussions for later, or use our imaginations to give the curious, wide-eyed child a nibble of truth to chew on. I choose the latter. Over the course of her little life, Bridgette has asked me questions about homelessness, prison, even war—and I have looked upon these queries less as danger zones and more as opportunities to understand the way my kid’s mind works: The concept of homelessness, for example, finally sank in for Bridgette when I explained that the homeless man on the corner didn’t have his own bed to sleep in—this soon after Bridgette graduated to her own “big girl’s bed”; prison was easy: “it’s the big time-out;” and war is just like those fights Jason and Donny have in school all the time, only much, much bigger. Look, I’m not claiming I have all the answers. In fact, as the days pass and Bridgette keeps getting smarter I can practically hear her conjuring up the stumpers that will eventually render me mute. But for now I enjoy being there for her with the answers. In fact, I’ll miss it when she begins figuring things out for herself. But if she expects me to explain Linda Tripp to her she’s got another thing coming. |