The Los Angeles Times, December 23, 2009
Making His List, Checking It Twice
Obama's gift list for both the naughty and nice.
By Bruce Kluger and David Slavin
Just when Barack Obama thought his toughest
decisions were behind him—his Afghanistan
strategy, tackling unemployment, what to say to
Tiger Woods if he calls—now he has to draw up a
Christmas gift list. What will the current “decider”
decide to give this holiday season…to both the
naughty and the nice?
bill (the gift that keeps on giving).
Big Pharma: Same as above, with unlimited refills.
Senate Republicans: Membership in Whine-of-
Ben Nelson: Anything he wants.
Michelle: Some manure for her garden (how about the healthcare bill?).
Malia and Sasha: New Secret Service escort: Justin Bieber!
Bo: Meat-flavored cardboard cutout of Sean Hannity.
TARP bailout recipients: What, $700 billion wasn’t enough?
The Salahis: Invitation to a state dinner...at Guantanamo Bay.
Troops in Afghanistan: A McChrystal ball.
Troops in Iraq: All-expenses-paid trip from frying pan into fire.
Fox News: An exclusive interview…in 2013.
Kim Jong Il: Fruitcake, extra nutty.
China: As down payment on our debt, they get...Ohio (non-refundable).
Hillary Clinton: Teflon pantsuit.
Bill Clinton: Mistletoe pants.
Sarah Palin: Eleven Pipers piping, 10 Bristols birthing, 9 Levis posing, 8 Todds a-
mushing, 7 books a-signing, 6 moose a-dressing…5 golden winks!...
John McCain: A 4-pound gift basket of sour grapes.
George W. Bush: Christmas leftovers. Why not? He gave his to America.