brucekluger.com

    The Los Angeles Times, May 2, 2005

    Commentary
    Chat Room for the Chattering Class

    By Bruce Kluger and David Slavin


    Welcome to Huffingtonpost.com! Please join us at 9 p.m. tonight when we take our
    blog live, in a first-ever HuffingtonPost chat! With us online will be regular
    contributors Walter Cronkite, David Mamet, Larry David, Warren Beatty, Diane
    Keaton, Norman Mailer, Sen. Gary Hart, David Geffen....

    AriannaHuff: ... So, like I was saying, how can we trust a president whose greatest
    achievement is making Al Gore and John Kerry actually look appealing? I mean,
    have things gotten this bad?

    WalterCronkite: Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? What does the "Esc" key do?
    And what's the difference between "Reply" and "Reply All"?

    AriannaHuff: We need to take action. This president is dangerous! Anyone agree?

    TheMailerMan: As he sat waiting for an idea to emerge, Ted thought of all those
    suckers in cyberspace eagerly anticipating his words, like puppies clamoring for the
    teat of their bitch mother....

    DianeK: But you have to admit, Arianna, that he's sexy in a way. OK, dumb-cowboy
    sexy. But at our age, we can't be choosy, right?

    LarryYadaYada: Why do they call this thing a "mouse," anyway? Because it's
    small? Because it has a tail? Lots of things are small and have a tailrats, ferrets,
    my cousin Seymour. Maybe they should call this thing a "Seymour"....

    AriannaHuff: Speak for yourself, Diane. I'm still in my 40s.

    DianeK: LOL! And I'm still dating Woody!

    LarryYadaYada: Then again, maybe Seymour's not such a hot name, either. "Hey,
    my Seymour just broke!" “What kind of Seymour should I get?” See, it doesn’t work.

    WalterCronkite: Can anybody read this?

    WalterCronkite: Can anybody read this?

    WarrenBaby: Hey, everybody. Here to talk. Hi, Diane. What are you wearing?

    #%&Mamet!!: So this is it? This is a blog? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding
    me? You are kidding me. Big friggin' deal.

    DianeK: Grow up, Warren. ;)

    WalterCronkite: I think I may have sent that twice.

    WalterCronkite: I think I may have sent that twice.

    TheMailerMan: Ted hated them. Hated them for their weakness, their conformity,
    their pathetic neediness....

    LarryYadaYada: And what's the deal with spam? Why call it "spam"? If actual lunch
    meat started coming out of my computer, I'd think I'd kind of like that.

    #%&Mamet!!: I get it, sure. It’s a blog. A blogggggg. That means I’m supposed to
    cry and whine like some big, blubbering 200-pound baby. Asking for justice, asking
    for explanations! Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? A child could do this.

    Sen.MonkeyBiz: Hello, group. Is Warren here yet?

    WarrenBaby: Right here, Gary.

    $Geff$: Hi, all. Sorry I can't join u tonite. Scouting locations in Fiji for Jurassic 4.
    Waves and cabana boys galoreyowza!
    [~Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.]

    Sen.MonkeyBiz: Anybody good yet, Warren?

    LarryYadaYada: I mean, if you're going to come up with a name for something you
    don't want, don't call it "spam." Call it something you wouldn't want. Like "vomit."

    WarrenBaby: Just Diane, Gary.

    AriannaHuff: Doesn't anybody want to talk about politics?

    WarrenBaby: I do! Let’s talk Ann Coulter. I know, we’re supposed to hate her. But
    there’s something about her. I think she and I could really…connect.

    Sen.MonkeyBiz: Know exactly what you mean, Warren.        

    #%&Mamet!!: What a bunch of whiners. Big baby whiners. You're all a bunch of

    [BLOGMEMBER "#%&Mamet!!" terminated by system operator for use of profanity.]

    WalterCronkite: Uh, I just pushed a button and now I'm someplace called "Naughty
    Nurses.com." What am I supposed to do?

    TheMailerMan: He imagined their heads split open, the blood gushing forth. But
    Ted saw nothing. A black void. A cold, hard, deadness...

    WarrenBaby: Click "Gallery," Walter. You can use my password: "Shampoo75."

    AriannaHuff: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea....